Caveat: This article is not for everyone, it is for people who understand the burden of leadership, female leadership, result-driven leadership, and leadership in truth and kindness.
I am sure the headline is weird. I intended to write this article for a while now, but Christmas Day 2024 happens to be the day I can write and publish and it’s beautiful to accomplish a goal that has been pending for so long.
A session with my life coach, DDK, inspired the subject of this article. She was talking about diplomacy and speaking the truth without fear or favour, and she had likened the Obama administration to signs of being too diplomatic and not wanting to offend anyone.
Well, I guess this brings us to the meat of this article, leadership and the ability to call the right shots without fear or favour. By nature, I am a kind leader, read again ‘kind’ not ‘nice’. But, under my role, assignment, and calling, the burden of compliance, regulation, and maintaining the order of a system lies to a large extent with me. As much as diplomacy and tact may be needed at certain points, I can’t afford to be an Obama – wanting to be accepted and liked by all, not offending anyone, and making sure everyone is content and happy.
Image source: dailymotion.com
Well in a famous quote whose author I do not know “If you want to make everyone happy, sell ice cream, don’t be a leader”, or in Nigerian parlance ‘serve everyone smokey jollof’. Reflecting on one of my career experiences, I had the opportunity to work with a leader who can be likened to an Obama – Obama already defined in the paragraph above. At this time in my career, this leader and I were leading two different teams. It meant that since I wasn’t an Obama and I was big on getting things done rightly and with tangible results being delivered, I was seen as the Grinch no matter what I did or didn’t do while my ‘senior colleague’ was seen as ‘Santa’.
Oh! I was the object and subject of comparison, dislike, hate speech, and gossip. But guess what, the ideal Santa understands right and wrong, as well as rewards and consequences; remember the famous song ‘Santa Claus is coming to town’. Linking this to former President Obama’s administration in the United States, the confusion about human gender, morals, and sexual degradation proliferated because someone wanted to stay on the sidelines and not stand up for the right thing.
It’s even funny that despite the seeming goodness of the ‘first black president of the USA’, his deportation and immigration brouhaha negated what the seeming narrative and PR tried to sell, please refer to evidence in the following articles by ABC news, Independent Co, and The Hill.
For privacy and as this article is solely for learning and growing and non-malicious reasons, I am not going to share what the aftermath of my personal experience looked like, but this is a call, if you are opportune to lead anywhere either by designation or appointment or even without a role, wherever you find yourself as an individual, never be afraid to speak the truth in kindness, without fear or favour, never be scared of the right discipline which brings growth and true success, never be afraid to stand for truth and the right order. It’s okay not to be liked!
Disclaimer: This article is not about Trump, Obama, Democrats, Republicans, the USA, my career, or anyone.
The Nigerian proverbialism is “I am not jollof rice”. Integrity refers to the unchanging quality of a thing regardless of circumstance.
Taking notes; don’t be an Obama in 2025.
I can so relate to this. I once worked with a similar Obama too 😆 and believe me I was painted all sorts of colour, particularly black for not bending to mediocrity, manipulation or deceit. Niceness permits anyhowness and disorder. The ability to address issues without fear is a key trait of an outstanding leader.
Thank you for teaching and inspiring me.😘
Thanks Tolulope for this thought evoking piece.
Looking to be liked by everyone firstly is impossible but is also a deeper problem than what can be seen in the surface. If we look at this as Christians who we are, we must understand and realize that if everyone likes us, we are probably not stepping into who God has called us to be yet. The message of the cross is offensive. God has called us to be the light of the world. One thing light does is expose. The more people get closer to us, some parts of their life that need ‘overhauling’ gets exposed to them. Some people don’t like that so they automatically don’t like you. They verbalize that by saying things like ‘ Your own is too much’ The question is too much compared to what?
We must understand that we are not called to please men, but to please God. Like I say it, ‘Please God, Love Men’ Like Apostle Paul said it in Galatians “Now do you think I am trying to make people accept me? No, God is the one I am trying to please. Am I trying to please people? If I wanted to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.”
Galatians 1:10 ERV
Please God, Love Men!