Just a little secret to be kept between me and you. “how do people confidently say they do not need people? like how?”

Okay, I understand we are all private individuals and we are all scared of vulnerability, I mean who wants their trust broken 😟? Definitely not me (“cause we live in an age where all we do is fake our feelings, I’ve been scared to put myself so out there”-Jon Bellion). Oh! and yeah! we gave some people the benefit of doubt but they just ended up being “humans” πŸ™„πŸ˜‘.

Life is easier if we just meet for football games on the streets and then go our separate ways yeah? – @tolulope_inspire

I would just like to share my perspective on support structures. For me, for every phase, I have passed through, I have had support structures at one point or the other, peeps who said “I got you” and meant it. Some of them taught me self-acceptance, some just provided listening ears with no actions while some oh some! were proof that the creator of the universe indeed loves me by sending people who loved me at one point or the other. More importantly, I am blessed to have had some consistent support structures over the years who are rock-solid gold.

I have been blessed with support structures at one time or the other. (

I could go on and on, but for me, support structures are simply proof that there is still beauty in the “messed-up” world, they are proof that with the frailty and nuances of the human nature that cannot be avoided, goodness still shines through. To be candid, loyalty is hard to come by, but can we for a minute stop to think on how we can be better as humans and as support structures for others, yeah “do unto others what you would have them do to you” and then slowly watch the goodness of their hearts come pouring towards you through their humanity, yes! through the frailty of their humanity you would see goodness.

Someone is reading this and goes “Tolu!, story !“, “wanna know how much I trusted peeps, poured out of the goodness of my heart? , and I still got a bitter taste of humanity Nah! not a single drop of goodness, nil, zilch, nada”. My darling oh! how I agree I totally do! , I learnt about betrayal at a very young age when I was supposed to be a happy-go-lucky-child, I wasn’t supposed to know people’s motives were not always clean but selfish very selfish, I mean aren’t we the most selfish of all creatures made by the creator, but let’s leave all that negativity aside.

I mean earth has suffered from human selfishness , global warming and all. (Imagesource:

To whosoever reading this, in my 2 decades plus here on earth, I have learnt and I am still learning that you do not necessarily receive the goodness you give from the same people you poured into, BUT! watch closely very closely, from colleagues who just treat you nicely and with courtesy, or strangers who shine their light at some points you were not expecting, bring it closer home, a family member who lets you know in their own little way that they “got you” and would not castigate you no matter what, stretch the circle a little further, that “friend” who sometimes checks up on you even more than you do and never takes offense, and then a little bit further, that “friend ” that you do not communicate all the time but when you do and catch up you feel rejuvenated, you feel like someone “gets it”, I do not know if you have been able to picture anyone so far but really look within and look around.

Ubuntu: ” I am because we are”

Look within first, because you need to work on your humanity too and learn to give the support you crave little by little to others and then look around because you might just be missing out on the right support structure around you, you might need to re-evaluate some connections and break off some yeah, but most importantly open your heart and then pray for discernment. Open your heart because you cannot be praying for something you are not ready to receive.
A man who has friends must himself be friendly, But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” – Proverbs 18:24 NKJV

P.S: Viva La Vida

Published by Tolulope Inspire

Perspectives and Inspiration

19 thoughts on “SUPPORT STRUCTURES

  1. Hmmm, this is a very nice piece. Its very true sm ppl hold back due to fear of disappointment. Sometimes disappointment cant be ruled out, however there is always a lesson to be learnt from the process. Support structures keeps u moving even at the weakest point, they help u regain strength. We all need them, there is always a support structure for every successful person in life.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Nice piece sis.. Being disappointed by a friend is just one of those things that can’t be ruled out. There are different motives behind friendships, some are good while some aren’t and we have to love ourselves first cause we can’t give what we don’t have..

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Hmmm….support structure! I might say I am one of those who naturally would want to hold back and deal with my issues myself but then, I have been blessed with good people. This has helped me learn over time that we all need each other! I am learning how to give to others what I have been privileged to receive.

    Nice piece Tolu.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I totally get your point bew. Some of us feel so lonely but when people come around, we push them away cos humans are so complicated and sometimes do not understand your vibe**. Sometimes I feel like I am a misanthrope. #BlissπŸ˜‚

    Liked by 1 person

    1. 🀣🀣🀣 Hello unnamed soldier, I totally do get you, read and digest again no way we gotta accept their complicated nature too β˜ΊοΈπŸ€£πŸ€—πŸ˜‹


  5. A sweet read…. I’ve been blessed with support structures at different phases of my life and It’s great also giving others such support.

    An individual can’t give what he doesn’t have…so the first thing is to work on yourself, ensure you do your part and let the love go round

    Liked by 1 person

  6. And we should not always expect that the people we share goodness to will return them. Sometimes our role in a person’s life is to be good to them whether they deserve it or not. The way I don’t deserve the love you(Tolulope Abimbola) show me but you still show me love every time. So, sometimes we should do good in anyway we can and to anyone we can and at anytime we can.
    Again, our support systems are always supposed to be stronger than us but they’re also humans and as such have down moments.

    We should also learn to be there for someone else, even if it’s just to listen and rub my back or kiss my head or hug me or bring me lunch or dinner, or lie beside me, or hold my hands, or help me through breathe in and out deeply process, it is needed and much appreciated.

    All my love Sweetheart. I like this particular piece.


  7. Well said! To attract genuine friendships into your life it’s important we ourselves are really genuine such that we naturally exude genuineness. When you spread love and goodness that’s what you will get in return.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Against all odds, I continually choose “Ubuntu”.
    Thank you for the gentle reminder.
    And yes, we have our ups and downs with support structures at different times in our lives, but we must constantly remind ourselves that some are for lessons, some are for blessings.
    We may not be able decipher which one is it from the beginning, but in all, be at peace , first with yourself, and then others.

    I N S P I R I N G

    Liked by 1 person

    1. UbuntuπŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ™Œ. Lessons and blessings, and yesss your last paragraph is EVERYTHING. 😁😁😁 I saw what you did on the last line. Thank you SuperDalton


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