Just a little secret to be kept between me and you. “how do people confidently say they do not need people? like how?”
Okay, I understand we are all private individuals and we are all scared of vulnerability, I mean who wants their trust broken 😟? Definitely not me (“cause we live in an age where all we do is fake our feelings, I’ve been scared to put myself so out there”-Jon Bellion). Oh! and yeah! we gave some people the benefit of doubt but they just ended up being “humans” 🙄😑.
I would just like to share my perspective on support structures. For me, for every phase, I have passed through, I have had support structures at one point or the other, peeps who said “I got you” and meant it. Some of them taught me self-acceptance, some just provided listening ears with no actions while some oh some! were proof that the creator of the universe indeed loves me by sending people who loved me at one point or the other. More importantly, I am blessed to have had some consistent support structures over the years who are rock-solid gold.
I could go on and on, but for me, support structures are simply proof that there is still beauty in the “messed-up” world, they are proof that with the frailty and nuances of the human nature that cannot be avoided, goodness still shines through. To be candid, loyalty is hard to come by, but can we for a minute stop to think on how we can be better as humans and as support structures for others, yeah “do unto others what you would have them do to you” and then slowly watch the goodness of their hearts come pouring towards you through their humanity, yes! through the frailty of their humanity you would see goodness.
Someone is reading this and goes “Tolu!, story !“, “wanna know how much I trusted peeps, poured out of the goodness of my heart? , and I still got a bitter taste of humanity Nah! not a single drop of goodness, nil, zilch, nada”. My darling oh! how I agree I totally do! , I learnt about betrayal at a very young age when I was supposed to be a happy-go-lucky-child, I wasn’t supposed to know people’s motives were not always clean but selfish very selfish, I mean aren’t we the most selfish of all creatures made by the creator, but let’s leave all that negativity aside.
To whosoever reading this, in my 2 decades plus here on earth, I have learnt and I am still learning that you do not necessarily receive the goodness you give from the same people you poured into, BUT! watch closely very closely, from colleagues who just treat you nicely and with courtesy, or strangers who shine their light at some points you were not expecting, bring it closer home, a family member who lets you know in their own little way that they “got you” and would not castigate you no matter what, stretch the circle a little further, that “friend” who sometimes checks up on you even more than you do and never takes offense, and then a little bit further, that “friend ” that you do not communicate all the time but when you do and catch up you feel rejuvenated, you feel like someone “gets it”, I do not know if you have been able to picture anyone so far but really look within and look around.
Look within first, because you need to work on your humanity too and learn to give the support you crave little by little to others and then look around because you might just be missing out on the right support structure around you, you might need to re-evaluate some connections and break off some yeah, but most importantly open your heart and then pray for discernment. Open your heart because you cannot be praying for something you are not ready to receive.
“A man who has friends must himself be friendly, But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” – Proverbs 18:24 NKJV
P.S: Viva La Vida