Important Notice: This is my perspective, and I would love to hear yours also.

A real smile can come from the source of our deepest hurts – @tolulope_inspire
Image source: Unsplash.com

Over a year ago, I had an emotionally troubling time . I had invested, planned out and checked the boxes for a relationship I was involved in at that time and so I thought that everything would work out perfectly because I had done “the right things”

Apparently there are some funny curves and twists you do not plan for and they just show the magnitude of life. To get to the point , my “investments, planning and safety net” crashed, faults were exposed from both parties and the long battle for healing started .

I bemoaned my loss, I blamed myself for a whole lot of things I just wanted to bury myself in a corner with pity parties but I knew that I needed to heal also.

I had always believed that healing had to take time and processes but for the first time I learnt that I had control over how fast and how well I wanted it to happen , and little by little I started taking charge of my healing journey.

Taking tiny little steps such as distancing myself from the drama that kept ensuing post-breakup, deciding on the things that gave me peace and surrounding myself more with them e. t. c

I mean there is no one fix-all solution to these things but I think that the greatest approach that worked for me in this particular situation was to stab the source of the pain (lol! not literally) but I had to face my pain directly and re-consider all my attempts of “let’s move on from this with all niceness,consideration and empathy” that were failing miserably as everyone is entitled to their way of dealing with pain and fighting for things they want and I later understood the many post-breakup drama that ensued were his way of fighting back.

But this time around, I called the shots by learning to say you know what “ all the niceness and empathy gotta stop ” , “let’s do the moving on in a mean way, I matter too”, “peace of mind is important and healing has to take place for growth to be experienced

Call The Shots
Image source: Unsplash.com

I took a walk from those miserable attempts that kept failing and in the shortest time possible, I was stable, I had come to be at peace with myself, my decisions and my failures and most importantly I experienced so many positive mental shifts.

And today , peace has been established and a formal camaraderie is happening but it took some form of “meanness” to get to that stage.

Sometimes, just sometimes the shortest path to healing involves stabbing the pain at its source and breaking all form of connection to it.

P.S : Viva La Vida.

Published by Tolulope Inspire

Perspectives and Inspiration

31 thoughts on “HEALING

    1. 😭 don’t make me teary. Support structures are necessary for healing processes. I’m still going to write about them. P.S: you are always welcome and I love you right back 🤗


  1. Healing is a process but just like the real disease, depends on time and depth of the hurt. But in all, your attitude hasten healing. Even with the scars, beauty can be revealed.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Healing may also be slow. It’s okay to not heal fast, but make sure you’re not stopping for a pity party or indulgence. Be willing to heal because if you don’t, you get to a dark place that is hard to come out from. Then some times your supposed support system is the one causing you hurt, best to do is make your support system not to be a living thing, it works because you can control it, stay closer to it or farther from it. In everything you do, make sure you’re not wallowing in the pit called stagnancy. Beautiful piece sweetie!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Recovering from an emotional trauma is definitely one of the most difficult phase of life one have to pass through to become stronger….

    Healing in this context begins with Determination…you must be determined to heal,if not you will remain broken..

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Surrounding yourself with things that gives peace and happiness as you have written is very important for the healing process. A bold spirit must also be developed to be able to accept what has happened and move on with life. Nice one dear👍

    Liked by 1 person

  5. The truth is that we will all experience this in different forms and varied degrees. We have to learn to love ourselves first. For me, having good support system coupled with “confronting the source” do help my healing process tremendously 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Loving ourselves helps us admit that we matter and a big yesssss to a good support system ; you hit the nail on the head, good support systems are essential. Thank you for sharing your perspective and practicing calling the shot☺️


  6. Hmmm, we need strength at each phase of our lives, the most important lesson is don’t stop where you fail just keep moving. You nailed it already, keep it up dear 👍.

    Liked by 1 person

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