Important Notice: This is my perspective, and I would love to hear yours also.
Over a year ago, I had an emotionally troubling time . I had invested, planned out and checked the boxes for a relationship I was involved in at that time and so I thought that everything would work out perfectly because I had done “the right things”
Apparently there are some funny curves and twists you do not plan for and they just show the magnitude of life. To get to the point , my “investments, planning and safety net” crashed, faults were exposed from both parties and the long battle for healing started .
I bemoaned my loss, I blamed myself for a whole lot of things I just wanted to bury myself in a corner with pity parties but I knew that I needed to heal also.
I had always believed that healing had to take time and processes but for the first time I learnt that I had control over how fast and how well I wanted it to happen , and little by little I started taking charge of my healing journey.
Taking tiny little steps such as distancing myself from the drama that kept ensuing post-breakup, deciding on the things that gave me peace and surrounding myself more with them e. t. c
I mean there is no one fix-all solution to these things but I think that the greatest approach that worked for me in this particular situation was to stab the source of the pain (lol! not literally) but I had to face my pain directly and re-consider all my attempts of “let’s move on from this with all niceness,consideration and empathy” that were failing miserably as everyone is entitled to their way of dealing with pain and fighting for things they want and I later understood the many post-breakup drama that ensued were his way of fighting back.
But this time around, I called the shots by learning to say you know what “ all the niceness and empathy gotta stop ” , “let’s do the moving on in a mean way, I matter too”, “peace of mind is important and healing has to take place for growth to be experienced“
I took a walk from those miserable attempts that kept failing and in the shortest time possible, I was stable, I had come to be at peace with myself, my decisions and my failures and most importantly I experienced so many positive mental shifts.
And today , peace has been established and a formal camaraderie is happening but it took some form of “meanness” to get to that stage.
Sometimes, just sometimes the shortest path to healing involves stabbing the pain at its source and breaking all form of connection to it.
P.S : Viva La Vida.